HOME AGAIN HOME AGAIN, JIGGEDY JIG

What an amazing year we have had so far....front row seats at the new Cirque du Soleil show in Atlanta in January, a visit to the Georgia Aquarium to see the whale shark exhibit, a show in Palm Beach in March, the Smithsonian Craft Show in April where I met the new head of the Smithsonian Institution and his wife (who gave me a four leaf clover earring for good luck!), two weeks in England and Ireland in May, an amazing drive across country on the way to Calgary where we spent two weeks doing the Calgary Stampede, our first visit to the the Buffalo Bill Museum in Cody, soaking in the sulphur hot springs in Thermopolis, working on the house, developing a new line of canvas totes, and then, a second trip to Washington D.C. where we just did the Smithsonian Craft2Wear show.

We stayed with the CFO of the Washington Post and his wife, and on Sunday afternoon, sold a small bag to the new Supreme Court Justice, Sonia Sotomayer, who arrived with two Secret Service men and an assistant, and who was kind enough to take the time to visit nearly every booth at the show, and to talk with nearly all the artists. I wasn't nervous talking to her, but when it came time to fill out the paperwork for the show (which was a fund raiser for the Smithsonian Women's Committee) I told her "I can't pretend I don't know who you are, but I don't know how to spell your name"...what really made her laugh though, was when I told her we were supposed to get her address, and she said..."just put down the Supreme Court. I am sure it will get to me..."

We were on the wait list for the Washington Craft Show at the Washington Convention Center the following weekend, but we were told we would have little chance of getting in since its one of the top craft shows in the nation (so no one ever cancels), so we decided to pack in as many tourist destinations as we possibly could that Monday before heading home. We started at Arlington National Cemetery where we saw the gravesites of John, Robert and Edward Kennedy, and witnessed the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, which was very powerful and very sobering, then we headed across the Potomac on a hop on hop off tour bus to see the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument and the Vietnam War Memorial. The American History Museum was undergoing renovations, so we saw very little of that museum, then took in the Natural History Museum where we saw the Hope Diamond, and headed for the Air and Space Museum, when the promoter for the Washington Craft Show called to say they'd had a cancellation.

We checked into a hotel that night and the next morning, headed off to see the rest of the tourist sites in Washington. It was an absolutely gorgeous week with regard to weather, and our timing on some events couldn't have been better. We walked right up to the Supreme Court Building just as they were allowing the last group of the day to get in, so we were able to hear a case argued before the Supreme Court (something I never dreamed I would get to do), then toured the Capitol Building where I saw a statue from New Mexico carved by an artist I used to be very good friends with in Statue Hall. We spent Wednesday at the National Art Gallery where we saw some of the most amazing art ever created, then on Thursday morning, we got up at 4:30 am, showered, and headed for the convention center where we were interviewed by the local Fox news station for a segment on the Washington Craft Show.

We got there an hour before the news team did, and then found out that we weren't being interviewed until nearly an hour and a half later, so we went for coffee across the street and got a frantic call to come back, then were told it would be another five or ten minutes and could we go get a few more handbags, then got another frantic call to come rushing back, and because I was a mess by then, I dove into my bag for a brush, and as I was brushing my hair, the interview started, so I wound up leaping into the frame just as the reporter began the interview.

We set up that same afternoon, and while that show wasn't a financial blow out, we had a good time and got through move out pretty easily.

We are back in North Carolina now, about to get started on our Christmas orders, then we head for Stillwater, Oklahoma, where Michael's son, Jarred is graduating from college. Hopefully he will be able to join us for the trip to New York afterward, where we have tickets to the Daily Show on December 16.

If we could just win the lottery, life would be perfect! As it stands right now, its pretty darned close.....

Thoughts on Turning 50

I have been thinking a lot about the fact that I am turning 50 on October 4, a process that has been helped along by my decision to finish some projects I'd started four years ago when I first moved here, and the entire interior of the house was what I would euphemistically call "salmon colored" (meaning that everything in it was a shade of pink; pink walls, pink carpets, fake brick linoleum, pink built ins, pink trim). As a birthday present to myself, I painted the master bedroom and hallway, moved the library into the guest room and the guest room into the library, moved the mess in the garage to the basement where I had more room to organize it, created more work space in the studio, and turned the apartment into a proper office.

I went through boxes of old letters, old papers, and old photographs as a result, and was flooded by a mix of emotions as I found pictures of old friends from my freshman year in college (who now have kids of their own in college) as well as the four years I spent living in Malibu where my neighbors included Robert Englund (Freddie, from Nightmare on Elm Street), Ray Abruzzo (Little Carmine, from The Sopranos) and Sherilyn Wolter (Celia Quartermaine on General Hospital), to a pile of faded snapshots and negatives given to me by my aunt after discovering at 39 that the man who raised me was not my biological father.

I found handwritten letters from Greer Garson, George Kennedy, Jane Goodall and Colin Powell as well as books signed by Viggo Mortensen, Alan Parker (he directed the original version of Fame) and Marc Lawrence (he was the pockmarked villain in Humphrey Bogart movies). I found the Emmy awards catalogue the year I attended the Emmy's with my friend, Sara; I found the style guide from the Lord of the Rings that I was given by the executive producer, Mark Ordesky, so I could create a gourd from the Lord of the Rings; the Two Towers for him; I found myself wondering why on earth I gave AWAY the autographed invitations I'd gotten to all three Lord of the Rings premieres and after parties, and laughed all over again at the night I went to the last premiere and found myself in the bathroom wrestling to get a hold of the bodysuit I was wearing after it shot up between my shoulder blades after I unsnapped it.... When I finally managed to wiggle it back down to where I could at least get my hands on it , I stretched the crotch out in front of me as far as I could to resnap it, then realized I didn't have my glasses on and couldn't see the hooks and eyes to save my soul....

I found the picture of Sam Elliott and I that a security guard took for me in the Rainbow Room after the premiere of the Golden Compass in New York. I've met Jane Goodall not once, but three times, and it still shocks me to this day that she called me one afternoon to buy a gourd from me for a good friend of hers for Christmas. I worked on a script with Catherine Hardwicke (she directed Twilight) that never went anywhere, rode in an elevator with Robert Wagner (who invited me to go to Switzerland to go skiing with his family - it was one of those offhanded invitations I always thought would have sent him into a complete panic had I actually shown up), asked Cameron Crowe out on a date (and was gently told that he was madly in love with Nancy Wilson, whom he later married), walked Michael York and his wife back to their hotel room one night after the Palm Springs Film Festival, talked to Julie Christie, Faye Dunaway and Lily Tomlin on the phone, had David Hockey explain to me how the old masters composed their paintings, and escorted Dustin Hoffman and Jon Voight to their seats at a tribute for John Schlesinger, who I was working for at the time. I was a "celebrity wrangler" for Jerry Weintraub, Michel Legrand and Robert Loggia at various industry functions, including one where I also met Red Buttons and Andy Garcia, and played wallflower with Bruce Davidson next to the caviar bar....

I remembered all the times when I pulled one of the bonehead moves I have become famous for, like the day I met with the other celebrity wranglers at the first Palm Springs Film Festival. We were instructed to introduce ourselves, and to say what we did for a living. I was second in line, so I said, "my name is Denise Meyers and I am an artist". A woman WAY up the line from me leans forward and says "Have you ever done the La Quinta Arts Festival?". I said "No, those stupid bastards won't let me in". She pauses for a moment, then says...."My name is Susan Francis and I am the HEAD of the La Quinta Arts Festival". Or how about the time, I borrowed Mark Ordesky's stretch limousine to take me back to the Motel Six where I was staying during one Lord of the Rings after party in Hollywood. And I STILL kick myself over the fact that I had a standing invitation to go to New Zealand any time I wanted to see the filming of the movie and I never went.

It hasn't all been fun and games though. There have been some really challenging moments over the last few years, but when I think about them now, I think about the fact that even the challenges have turned out to be gifts. Finding out at 39 that the man who raised you isn't your biological father and you were one of two people in your entire family who didn't know that could have been devastating, and, for a time - for a very long time, actually - it was. But I have also come to believe that it was an amazing gift, because it has allowed me to let go of a lot of the things that I used to define myself by. If I am not who I thought I was, then I can be who I really am, and that is a wonderful thing indeed.

My mother used to tell me that "no one will be there for you like your family, Denise. No one will love you as much as we do", but she neglected to add that sometimes, no one will hurt you, or use you, or damage you as much as your family will either. I get to chose my own family now, and as I made my way through the boxes of old pictures and other keepsakes, I realized that for my fiftieth birthday, I wanted to pay tribute to the people who helped me grow up, to become a better person, to reach for the stars, to stay grounded, to challenge myself, to nurture myself and to accept myself for who I am....there is no particular order to this list, just a group of people who I have had the privilege of loving. So if its true what the wizard said; that a heart is not judged by how much you have loved, but by how much you are loved by others, then I win on both counts....

I met Susanna Eggli at the Bodhi Tree a million years ago. She is a talented artist in her own right, and could probably give Tim Burton a run for his money in the creativity department. She is also one of the most trustworthy, loyal and devoted friends anyone could ever ask for. Randi Leader and I met at New World Cinema when we were "assistants" for a pair of TV producers. I like to say about the Leader girls that once you are lucky enough to become a part of the family, you are ALWAYS part of the family. We don't see each other often, but she makes an effort to make sure we stay in touch even when I don't.

I have been back in touch with several people I went to college with again this year, probably because we are all turning 50 this year and are all feeling nostalgic for the past. Don Robert, Heidi Ludders Jones, Jeff Strickler, John Jackimeic, Pam Marsh, Wayne Kearney; they made my freshman year in college one of the best years of my life, and the only one so far that I would do over again in a heartbeat, with the possible exception of this one. Years have gone by without talking to any of them, then Don, who is literally one of the busiest people in the world, takes time to write, and the next thing you know, we are all playing catch up, working on a reunion next year, and, in my case anyway, thinking about how important this particular group of people have always been to me. They were there when I took my first timid steps into the world as Denise Meyers, person, and thirty years later, they are still there, still in possession of the part of my soul that was just beginning to form into the person I am today.

I think of Sheri Greves Neilson, who called me every single day for months after I found out about my birth father, just to make sure I was okay, or Sergio Altieri, who called from Italy once a week to check in on me. I think of Steve Shapiro, who I met over the internet, who called from London just to let me bitch about my life when things were at their worst, or Janos, who was always so generous with me both financially and emotionally. I miss Annette Bishop and her family and loved being part of their lives. My friend, Lyn St Clair, who is not only an amazing artist (her work intimidates the hell out of me and always has) but an inspiration for the grace with which she has handled her own, very challenging life; Daniel McCullor, who is one of the funniest (and probably one of the smartest) people I have ever met; Rollande Poiret, an absolutely brilliant jewelry designer who is beautiful, warm, gracious, generous, and thoughtful...I want to BE Rollande when I grow up....Mary Johnston and her daughter Rowan, Melba Hinojosa, my friend, Susan (who has survived some challenges of her own and emerged a better person for it), Sarah Nichols, Sara Chesters, Elizabeth Connolley, Denise Carlson, Whitney Peckman...I have been blessed with so many incredible women friends...they have all contributed something precious and wonderful to my life and I cherish them all for it...

I have some amazing men friends as well....Paul Jackson, who always remembers to write on my birthday, Tom Tyler, who has been a generous and devoted friend, Michael Micotto, who taught me a great deal about what it means to BE a friend...

And then, of course, there's Michael Witt, a retired portrait photographer and glass artist I met at an art show in Colorado three years ago and have been with ever since. Michael and I have had a hard road at times, mostly of our own doing I might add, but we have made it through the fire and, for the first time in my life, I know what it means to love someone as they are, and to have them love me as I am, warts and all. I never really knew what that meant until I met him, and while its true that there have been times when I have wanted to strangle him with my bare hands, he is a wonderful, smart, complex, goofy, warm, funny, moody, intense, passionate, gifted man with a huge heart. I waited a long time for him. A million years, to be exact.

When I was twenty I remember looking out over what I wanted my life to be and thought, if God would just get out of my way, I could get this done in record time. I KNEW how to get what I wanted and I was ready to go about it with a vengeance. It hasn't turned out the way I would have planned it, but it has turned out far better than I had any right to expect. Thank you ALL for making that possible.

Reflections on Turning 50

My New Hero

I've always thought heroes were the kind of people who rushed into burning buildings to save kittens, or strangers who gave an ailing child a kidney, but I've come to learn recently that there are different kinds of heroes, and they truly come in many shapes and sizes.

I met Elaine Lee at the Calgary Stampede this past July, and while I was as startled as anyone by her appearance, I quickly came to discover that she is easily one of the most amazing women I have ever, and will ever, have the privilege of meeting in my lifetime.

Elaine was born with a condition called osteogenesis imperfecta, or brittle bones, that has left her the size of a one year old child. At 30 years old, she weighs just 29 pounds, and is completely reliant on her wheelchair to get around, but there is absolutely NOTHING about this woman I would consider even remotely handicapped.

Not only did she work two full time jobs during the Stampede (handing out lost child bracelets to kids regardless of the weather, and pitching kid friendly products in the vendor section of the Stampede), she attends art school in Vancouver where she lives alone, travelling an hour and a half each way to school on public transportation. She is funny, bawdy, irreverant, clever, intelligent, charming, outrageous, animated and has more spirit, and drive than one hundred people combined; she speaks four or five languages of which one is Cantonese, she loves music, dancing, singing, drawing, photography and shopping, and the night before Stampede ended, she stayed up all night long drawing cards with handwritten notes to pass out to the friends she'd made during the ten days we'd all gotten to know her.

She is an amazing woman on so many fronts it was hard to believe, but the thing that struck me the most about Elaine is that she doesn't feel sorry for herself, and she has a greater passion for life and living life to the fullest than I may ever have. In fact, our show was pretty bad from a financial standpoint, but it was impossible to feel sorry for ourselves with Elaine around. About the only time we ever heard a word about her circumstances, was when she revealed that the wheelchair she is in now, which IS her lifeline, desperately needs to be replaced.

She ordered a new one with the help of the Canadian government, but the chair stopped working after three months, so she had to get a new one, but that chair needs $10,000 worth of work on a custom seat to accomodate her needs. I know things are tight for everyone right now, but I would like to encourage you to consider visiting her website, and, if possible, making a contribution to www.getelainerolling.com. And if you EVER get the chance to meet her, please do NOT pass it up. Just don't handle her with kid gloves, because even though her body is fragile, her mind is as sharp as a tack. And for that matter, so is her mouth!

WHEN EVERYTHING FALLS INTO PLACE

Have you ever had one of those years when things you'd dreamed about doing, places you longed to see, and adventures you'd hoped to have one day, all fell into place? That has been my year so far....I launched my new handbag line in Palm Beach, Florida with great success, did my first Smithsonian Craft Show, spent two weeks in Europe, just got back from two weeks in Canada and the Calgary Stampede, saw Mt Rushmore, Deadwood, and Cody, Wyoming for the first time...went to the Buffalo Bill Museum, soaked in the sulphur hot springs in Thermopolis, saw Michael chased by a buffalo in Yellowstone Park, got to see my friend, Lyn St Clair for the first time in ages, met an absolutely AMAZING woman in Calgary named Elaine Lee, who has become such an inspiration in my life, made another new friend in Loretta Kyle, a gifted sculptor, bought a hot tub, and am off to do shows in White Plains, New York, and the Smithsonian again this fall, plus I landed tickets to The Daily Show in December. Michael's son, Jarred, graduates from college in December, his other son, Shawn, graduated from Apache flight school in June, and his daughter, Amber, is about to make him a grandfather for the third time.

Life is good on so many fronts that it amazes me, and what is so cool about that, is that it feels like its time for things to be easy again. I used to think I lead a charmed life, but a few years ago it all fell apart and I found myself becoming resentful, and bitter, and very afraid. NOTHING was easy, and I sometimes felt I was being "punished", but I can also see where my experiences helped me grow, and how they inspired me to become the creator of my own life again. This year has taught me that even though things aren't perfect, especially where money is concerned, there really ARE other ways to feel rich, and I DO feel rich right now....I am the richest woman in the world in my opinion!

I am off to soak in the hot tub before deciding what, if anything I want to do today. There is still much to be done and a lot more to share. "The world is round, and the place which may seem like the end...may also be the beginning"...

MY HOW TIME FLIES!

Considering the fact that it has been almost six months since my last post, is it any wonder that no one keeps up with my blog on a regular basis?

Well that is about to change BIG TIME in the coming weeks, since there are a number of exciting developments in my life on both a personal and professional level that I think bear mentioning....

Michael and I just got back from a two week trip to England and Ireland with his son Jarred, and Jarred's girlfriend, Evan. They are both about to graduate from college, and this seemed like a great opportunity to get to know them better has they head off into the world.

We flew to London on May 3, and spent three whirlwind days taking in the sites, and having dinner with a dear friend from college, before renting a car in central London and negotiating our way through miles and miles of roundabouts and street name changes, getting lost on the M50 a few times, and taking an emergency exit past police officers posted at an old bridge to keep idiots like us from using it to cross to the other side of the freeway, before heading off to Stonehenge, Bath and Liverpool.

We flew from Liverpool to Dublin where we checked into a hotel, and Jarred and Evan checked into a youth hostel, so we could each experience Dublin in our own way. Michael and I were given tickets to a rugby match our first night in Dublin, and had a blast watching the game even though neither one of us really understood what was going on. I get that its about making goals, but the way they go about making goals wasn't something I had ever experienced before; the scrimmage line looks like a wrestling match, and the toss looks like a basketball game crossed with a cheerleading squad.

In any event, we covered every inch of Dublin over the next four days, from evensong at Christ Church Cathedral, to a sing along at the oldest pub in Ireland, to the Chester Beatty Library (which houses an amazing antiquarian book collection, and includes several original letters from Paul to the Corinthians). In my opinion, it beat the Book of Kells by a mile, although the Long Hall at the Trinity College Library, which houses the Book of Kells, is still my idea of heaven. Well, that or the library at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville.

The Irish countryside is as beautiful as everyone told us it would be, and we all fell madly in love with the Dingle Peninsula. Michael wants to go back next summer for a month, which would be fantastic if we could swing it.

I think the most compelling part of the trip however, was that it inspired something in my soul that I thought I had lost, or at the very least, put on a dust covered shelf at the back of the closet, over the past few years. I have been struggling for years to find a balance between the relentlessly driven business person, the artist, and the flawed but hopeful human being I am, and it seems this trip and some of the experiences and conversations I had along the way reminded me that the twenty year old who thought she could conqure the world by the time she was thirty, is still IN there....I am bursting with ideas and creativity and I KNOW how to make the things happen that I want to happen, and I know how to get where I want to be, and the funny thing is, since I stopped watching the news, or reading the newspaper, I stopped feeling like the sky is falling and life is beautiful..."even the orchestra, is beautiful"...

Case in point???? The swine flu "pandemic" that turned out to be nothing more than talking heads trying to terrify the nation. When I stopped watching the news, the world stopped falling apart. That may sound wildly naive, but at the same time, it has been incredibly inspiring. The world goes on with or without our hopes and dreams and fears, and I learned THAT as well when I was in Europe. Things last, but people don't, so why spend time wringing my hands over what COULD happen, what COULD go wrong, what IS wrong, when I can celebrate each day as the "best day of my life"...because, honestly.... it IS the only day I have....it is the only day ANY of us have.....

So I am off to make the most of it....

With many more posts to follow....